Three Reasons Why Moms-To-Be Don't Talk About Anxiety in Motherhood

Photo credit: Joice Kelly

All moms-to-be are anxious, but few of them talk about how they really feel.

Before I had a child and while I was pregnant, none of mom friends mentioned anxiety in motherhood. They talked about other challenges, like lack of time for themselves, milestones, or tantrums, but never about their mental health. In this article, I’ll talk about three reasons why moms-to-be don't talk about anxiety in motherhood.

When I found out I had postpartum depression and anxiety and talked to some of my mom friends, they opened up and told me how they really felt. I discovered that this condition is much more common than I thought. The thing is that few women talk about anxiety in motherhood.

When I recovered from it, I felt the need to open up about postpartum depression and anxiety. I wrote an article and submitted it to publications. It was published by Good Housekeeping. I thought it was important to share my experience so other women knew that this condition is common and they have the power to heal.

Now, with my work, I focus on prevention. I don’t want you, mom-to-be, to go through the same experience.

So, what are the three reasons why moms-to-be don’t talk about anxiety in motherhood?

They’re scared to admit it to themselves.

Moms-to-be want to feel excitement and joy because they are genuinely happy to become moms. They think that if they admit to themselves that they’re anxious, it means that they’re having doubts about their choice, and this thought makes them feel guilty. Let me tell you this. Anxiety doesn’t deny your excitement and joy. You shouldn’t feel ashamed. Anxiety is also a feeling, and it needs to be accepted and honored.

They’re scared to be judged by other moms.

Unfortunately, mom-shaming exists. Moms are always ready to judge other moms if they think or do things differently or talk about taboo subjects. The result is that many moms don’t open up about their mental health challenges with other moms. Women who get pregnant, especially, are not prepared for the emotional challenges they’ll face once the baby is born. It happened to me. I felt lonely, unprepared, and hurt by the stigma surrounding mom’s mental health.

They’re scared to be judged by society.

Our modern society is still struggling with the idea that women are much more than child machines. Too many people still believe that women’s job is to procreate, stay home, and take care of children. And they should be happy playing this role. The reality is that women go through so much emotionally from the moment they decide to become mothers, but they stay strong for their families. They cry at night, but society doesn’t care as long as they do their job.

I sincerely hope that my work will help to change the conversation around anxiety in motherhood.

Together, we can end the stigma and create a better society where the mental health of mothers becomes a priority.